install theme
pearlcrystalgem:

travellingcompanionstephrogers:

chafing-nipples:

modmad:

nooby-banana:

becauseimdavefuckinstrider:

jim fucking carrey

jim fucking carrey



I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.

This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people

I

pearlcrystalgem:

travellingcompanionstephrogers:

chafing-nipples:

modmad:

nooby-banana:

becauseimdavefuckinstrider:

jim fucking carrey

jim fucking carrey

image

I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.

This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people

I

intrepid-hallucinations:

hooks-and-chains:

avianawareness:

asgardandbeyond:

giraffepoliceforce:

altering-cave:

So I don’t think those free condoms universities hand out suck as much as guys say they do.

Okay, but seriously. If you’re ever considering sexy times with a guy and he tells you that he can’t wear a condom there is a 100.3% chance that he is a liar, and you should definitely not have sex with him. Don’t have sex with liars. Have sex with a cute honest people that bring you ice cream the next morning. Liars do not bring you ice cream. And if they do it’s ice cream made of lies. Ice cream made of lies is very emotionally unfulfilling. Don’t trust liars or their disease-ridden ice cream.

that was the best safe-sex talk ever.

Why I am suspicious of those who say they got pregnant because a condom “broke”… 

HAVE ANY OF YOU EVER USED A CONDOM. HAVE ANY OF YOU HAD SEX YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CONDOMS. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I’m sick of this shit. Just because a condom has a tensile force high enough to withstand inflation does not mean it can comfortably fit any penis. No one wants latex literally stretched against a boner like it is in this pic. A condom that is too small causes added friction which can lead to the condom tearing. If someone tells you it is too small, you LISTEN. YOU DO NOT HAVE RAW SEX WITH THEM. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM SAYING. YOU GO BUY A MAGNUM. There are even sizes above that. SO NO THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO SAY THAT A PERSON CANNOT WEAR ANY CONDOMS BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT FIT IN CERTAIN SIZES. And whoever the fuck said they don’t believe condoms break is literally fucking stupid as hell. You didn’t even try to think you slut shaming ignorant ass. Condoms do not break from things not fitting in them. They break due to frictional forces without sufficient lubricant and air bubbles trapped in the reservoir tip that push through the latex upon ejaculation. Proper application requires that the tip be pinched to remove this air while it is rolled down the shaft. Very few people know this due to the rampant lack of appropriate sex ed. Proper condom application technique and education is crucial to effective birth control and STI protection. So before you go spouting your ignorant crap, how bout you think about your penised partner and the overall function of a condom and try to spread real education rather than shaming people.

Thank you for articulating what most cannot even comprehend. <3

(Source: wiggllytuff)

finem-linea:

bitch fuck yo tiny ass cake

finem-linea:

bitch fuck yo tiny ass cake

clusterphoque:

do you ever get weirded out by the fact that everyone around you is constantly within their own mind and thinking a million secret thoughts and battling internal struggles just like you and that you’re not the only one who thinks these things and that the people around you aren’t just faces meant to fill up your life but they’re actually really deep people who have a lot more to them than you ever actually even think about

all the fucking time

booforce:

my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you

(Source: biforce)

Hey. Hey, you remember peekaboo? Can you keep your eyes closed? You keep ‘em closed, that’s good. That’s real good, yeah. You keep ‘em closed, just like that. It’s just part of the game.

(Source: jessebpinkmans)

(Source: patheticjunkies)

kateordie:

alexithymia-daily:

Because of Them, We Can

BEAUTIFUL

Just… Something in my eye…